Out with Negativity

Well despite explicitly telling Aunt Flo she was not welcome in my house anymore she showed up today right on time.  I am a little mad at myself for getting my hopes up this month (my first month on fertility medication after 1yr and 6mth of trying) and my hormones drove me almost to the point of insanity.  During my TWW I took 4 pregnancy tests, wasted $32, worried every day and over analyzed every sore nipple, belly twinge, and nauseous moment.  The last three days were the worst and as an early birthday present my husband decided we could get a clear blue fertility monitor to help ease my anxiety (I worry that we may miss my ovulation day if it doesn't fall between the 14th and 18th like I it is supposed to on Clomid) only to find out that the tests don't work very well if you are taking fertility medication.  This along with having to high expectations this month led to me being very mopy and unhappy these last few days.  I HAVE HAD ENOUGH of being sad.  I choose to be sad no more. I am a positive person who has faith that I will be a mom so why am I wollowing in fear and worry?

My biggest worry is that I will be one of those women who takes 2 - 10 years to get pregnant.  If you are one of those women *hugs* I have no idea how you deal with that.  I am 28, still young and by all accounts perfectly healthy (so is my husband) so why can't I just let nature take its course.

So this is my opinion.  Its ok to take a moment and give the stink eye to all the pregnant women who pass you by but don't dwell on it.  Still take a moment to coo and oggle cute babies.  Its ok to be pissed off that the most fertile women on the planet seem to (often) be the ones who don't deserve to have kids.  That may be judgmental on my part but I work in the social service field and when you see babies and children who were born with birth defects like fetal alcohol syndrome, heart defects, abnormally small bodies, or scars on their bodies from abuse its a little hard to understand why they have five kids and are pregnant with their 6th and like all the others that baby will be taken away at birth by family services and you can't seem to get pregnant.

But don't dwell on it.  Don't let your day be dominated by negative thoughts.  None of this is healthy.  So I am making a conscious choice to be happy and although I know I may have more disappointments to come, after a good cry its time to pull up the boot straps and start fresh next cycle. 

So all you infertile ladies out there lets stop saying we are "infertile" because that's a negative thought.  Lets just say we are "patiently" awaiting to be fertile.  This journey sucks but I have to hope I will be a stronger person come the end and a better mother for it.  My child will be wanted so very much when he/she finally arrives.

The 3 W's of TTC are...

Waiting, Wondering, Worrying ALL the time.  Waiting to start taking your fertility medication, waiting to ovulate, waiting for the longest two weeks of your life to be over and then comes the wondering and worrying simultaneously.  Wondering if this will be the month when you are finally blessed with pregnancy and worrying that it won't be.

I am slowly heading toward the middle of the 2WW aka "The Two Week Wait" and I have already exhausted myself over thinking every non pregnancy and pregnancy symptom that affects my body.  The following is a list of what goes through my mind on a daily basis.

My nipples are sore....maybe that means I am pregnant?

I have slight cramping...maybe that's implantation?  Oh god maybe I was pregnant and now I am miss carrying!

Think positive Lindsey you know what they say about the power of positive thinking.....but don't be to positive you don't want to get your hopes up when you don't end up pregnant this month....But if I think to negatively is it possible that I won't get pregnant just because I think its not going to happen?

Ohhhh I feel nauseous! I must be pregnant. (Next day) I wasn't nauseous today false alarm.

Since early detection pregnancy tests now exist and you can test five days sooner I spend the money only for it to always be negative but I think "don't worry its probably just to soon" and wait until my period due date is missed.  Once my period due date is missed I get excited but my periods are almost always late so in order to be sure I take another pregnancy test....which is negative.  I have now spent $17.00 on negative pregnancy tests....lather, rinse and repeat each month.

This is my first month on fertility treatments (Clomid 100mg a day every day, days 5-9) so my expectations which are usually low have suddenly sky rocketed and for the first time in the last year and a half (I don't know how women who have done this for years cope) I am excited...but worried about being to excited and being disappointed or not being excited enough and hurting my chances by putting negative thoughts out to the universe.

I really am a positive person most of the time but when you want something so bad it can be so frustrating to not have it happen in a "reasonable" amount of time.  Add to it that as soon as you start trying to have a baby suddenly every other person you see walking on the street, in the grocery store, or at the mall is pregnant.

I feel like talking about the frustrating questions and comments well meaning strangers, friends and family tell you when you are trying to conceive but I think that deserves an entire post.

Fertility Monitors

Clearblue Easy Digital Ovulation Test 

What’s Special?: This digital monitor will identify the two best days to conceive in your monthly cycle by detecting the LH Hormone approx one day to one and a half days prior to ovulation.  As this test is digital its very easy to use.

Cost: Approx $30+

My Thoughts: I think this low cost  kit would be great for any woman with a “normal” monthly cycle or one that is regular.  By normal I mean it is suggested that the average woman has a 28 day cycle and will ovulate on or around day 14.  By regular I mean if you get your period the same time every month regardless if it is a 28 day cycle or a 42 day cycle.  For more instructions on when to begin testing click here.  For me my monthly cycle varies anywhere between 28 days and 52 days so this test would not be cost effective for me.

Clearblue ONE Month Digital Ovulation Kit

What’s Special?:  This kit provides you with 20 test sticks as opposed the the 7 offered in the kit above to better catch your LH hormone level surge.

Cost: $43+

My Thoughts: 20 days of testing is better then 7 days and as this test is digital its very easy to use.

Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor

What special?:  Most fertility monitors only check for LH hormone levels which will enable you to identify 2 of your most fertile days during your monthly cycle.  The Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor (as shown directly above) tracks two separate hormones and will let you know the approx 5 day span of your cycle prior to ovulation that you are also likely to conceive in addition to your 2 peak days.

Cost:  Approx $150+ and $30+ for a months worth of ovulation strips.

My Thoughts:  I like that this product is able to detect more then 2 fertile days within the month and despite the cost I think the initial cost of the machine is worth it.  Many ovulation predictor kits only come with a weeks worth of strips and if you have an irregular monthly cycle like me this could be a problem.  The idea behind the seven day kits is that you start testing about a week after your period as an “average” woman will ovulate on or around the 14th day of her cycle.  Since I ovulate anywhere from day 14 to 25 I would have to buy a lot of these kits.  As this test is digital its very easy to use.

Generic Ovulation Strips

What’s Special?: They detect a peak in your LH hormone levels during your monthly cycle.

Cost: Varies (I purchased a pack of 100 ovulation strips and 15 pregnancy strips on ebay for $19.99 CDN)

My Thoughts:  While these are the least expensive ovulation strips you can find available I found them hard to read.  To use these strips you have to pee into a container and submerge the tip of the strip into your urine for a few seconds.  After leaving it to lay on a flat surface for a few minutes you check to see if the test line is as dark as the control line.  If the test line is not the same shade as the control line your LH levels have not peaked.  I can’t tell you how many times I have used these and squinted at the lines to determine if the test line was dark enough.  It is very possible that I missed an opportunity to conceive because I miss read a test strip.

OvaCue Fertility Monitor

What’s Special?: The OvaCue fertility monitor detects changes in the electrolyte levels in your saliva beginning on day 2 of your monthly cycle.  It then monitors these levels over the month and indicates to you the most likely days for conception.  For a more in depth explanation click here.

Cost:  $249+

My Thoughts:  The biggest draw back of this fertility monitor (for me) is the cost however the fact that it uses saliva instead of urine is appealing.  Additionally the company suggests that the OvaCue is able to predict your ovulation dates earlier then a urine test which I would consider an advantage.

Duo Fertility Monitor

What’s Special?:  You don’t pee on it, you don’t spit on it, you wear it!  This monitor has a small disc like patch that you wear every day.  When you connect the patch to the monitor reads the information and is able to predict ovulation up to one week before.  When you send the information to your PC it sends it to the Duo Fertility support center where fertility experts analyzes the data and sends you more precise data back. 

Cost:  $500+

My Thoughts:  I think its one heck of a nifty fertility monitor and it comes with a money back guarantee if your not pregnant in one year but with a $500+ price tag it is on the expensive side.

Basil Thermometers

What’s Special?  The basil thermometer when used properly is able to test for the day of ovulation based on a rise in your basil body temperature.

Cost:  $10+

My Thoughts:  I tried this.  I hated this.  It is no fun sticking a thermometer up your lady parts every morning and mine was always different.  You need to test after being in bed all night but before getting out of bed.  I pee a lot during the night which makes this difficult but could explain why my temperature was always different.  I think this method of determining ovulation is annoying and stressful and I would rather spend the money on ovulation kits.

For more information about LH Levels click here.

Editing Template

Hello Readers!

I apologize for the state of the blog.  I am in the midst of pulling my hair out trying to install a new template and design.  Don't judge my blog by its cover just yet!  This blog is less then 24hrs old however you will find a few links to helpful websites under the "website link" tab, an awesome baby name book under "book reviews" and my first product review on the fertility medication called Clomid found under "product reviews."

As always please feel free to comment or email me with content suggestions or any questions regarding the blog you may have.

Please check back soon to see how I am making out with the design!

Best,

Lindsey

Review: Cool Names For Babies

 

Title: Cool Names (for Babies) Author: Pamela Redmond Satran Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin Published: January 22, 2008  Format: Paperback ($10.95 CDN) Copy: Purchased by me

From the Publisher:

Five years ago, America’s leading baby-name experts, Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, wrote a hip little book to answer the question they were asked most frequently: What are the cool names? Cool marches on, so it’s time for a fresh new look at the latest trends, including:

• Little Caesars: Led by celebrities (from Daniel Baldwin’s Atticus to Julia Roberts’s Phinnaeus), Latinate boys’ names are hot, hot, hot
• Scarlet Ladies: Sexy siren names, from Lola and Scarlett to biblical bad girls Salome and Delilah
• Hollywood Squared: Golden Age silver-screen glamour is in, from Ava to Gable, as in Clark
• Thunderbolts: Brisk and bold one-syllable boys’ names like Colt, Cade, Trent, and Stone.
• Vowel Names: As in Addison, Ella, Oliver, and Olivia.
Plus the coolest baby-name ideas you won’t find anywhere else: Coolest Flower Name, Coolest Royal Name, Coolest Palindrome Name, Coolest Fruit Name, Coolest Poet Name. Inspired, fun, and exciting, the new Cool Names has all of the hottest names for babies.

My Review:

Of all the baby name books I have read, and I have read a few (if you can’t plan making a baby you can at least pick out names!) this one is my favorite.  At first glance the baby book that claims to have over fifty thousand baby names may seem like a good idea but it can easily become overwhelming.  The book is easily navigated with unique categories that while sometimes odd may just be where you find the perfect name for your baby or at the very least a few laughs.

One particular feature I enjoyed was the the “exoticizer” section.  In this section a classic name is suggested and then the book offeres a more exotic option and then a most exotic option.  For example on page 24 a classic name offered is Anna, the more exotic option is Anya and the most exotic option is Anina. Earlier in the book on page 8 the “coolator” is introduced using the same idea.  Here the name Brianna is labeled as “uncool” with Bryn being cool and Bronte being even cooler.

Additionally in this book you’ll find sections on mainstream names, famous names (from supermodels to poets), old fashioned names such as Isobel or Roger, and creative names inspired by flowers, colours and music.

If your planning to have a baby, pregnant, or you are sitting in the hospital with your un-named bundle of joy in your arms this little book may hold the perfect name for your baby.

Review: Clomid (Clomid, Serophene, Milophene)

Product Name: Serophene (Clomid, Serophene, Milophene)
My Cost: $67.00 CDN for 10, 50mg dose (ten tablets 50mg each with two tablets equaling a 100mg dosage taken each day for five days)
Side Effects: Click here for a list of side effects

Click here for the full prescription information



Product Review: 

First and foremost Clomid should only be taken with a prescription that has been provided to you by your family or fertility doctor.  This may seem an unusual product to review however infertility is something many women face and I want this blog to include all products I have used before and (hopefully soon) after getting pregnant. When I first got my prescription filled I felt like I had magic pills in my hands and maybe they will be but the reality is the biggest benefit (to me) of taking Clomid is that I can take the guess work out of when I am ovulating.

What is Clomid?: 

Clomid is a prescription medication that is often taken in 50mg or 100mg dosages taken every day for five days on the fifth day of your cycle (day one is the first day of your period).  Clomid works by increasing the hormones in your body that stimulate your ovaries and release an egg.  Clomid tricks your pituitary gland into making more of these hormones and causing you to produce an egg/ovulate.  For more in depth but easy to read information on what Clomid is click here.

Why am I taking Clomid?:

I am taking Clomid because my infertility issues stem from my irregular menstrual cycle which can range from a "normal" cycle of 28 days to as many as 54 days between day 1 of my last cycle and day 1 of my next.  Clomid was prescribed to me after trying unsuccessfully to conceive for a year and a half and after undergoing a variety of tests to determine if there was any medical reason why I was not getting pregnant.

Do I have any side effects?:

Thus far I have only experienced heightened emotional sensitivity and occasional very minor pains in my abdomen.  For a full list of side effects click here.  Additionally studies show that one "side effect" of taking Clomid is multiple pregnancies.  It is suggested that if you are taking Clomid you have a 1 in 10 chance of having multiples!

What do I think of the product?:

Thus far I am very happy with the product.  I have only had very minor side effects and other then being slightly stressed out at remembering to take the pills every morning they are easy to take.  I will be very happy with the product if in the next few cycles I get pregnant!  I will update this review at that time.